For me the deepening into what unconditional LOVE actually is has become a central part of my own quest. In this particular moment in history-in this moment where we find ourselves pitted against each other- with even wider divides of separation and “othering” and so much evidence and justification for that separation– how do we cultivate unconditional love- and what does it even look like.
Last night I viewed a comedy show by a woman called Hannah Gadsby – it was entitled Nanette. The reason I am sharing with you is because it was a fierce tender, incredibly intimate and vulnerable sharing of what it “feels” like to grow as a lesbian woman who is not gender normative. She recounts in an incredibly erudit, heart sensitive, fierce harsh kind of LOVE about how it feels to be her. She doesn’t tell us about it – she has us FEEL how it is beher– and sit in the inner tension that she and every other person who is OTHER and does not fit in feels each and every day. It was excruciatingly beautiful.
AND it was a show of LOVE for herself, and for humanity– a kind of LOVE that is so deeply different to the love that we are taught about. I highly recommend you check it out.
So my point is that we are being called to unshield our hearts with one another- and this is one of the hardest things for many of us to do- especially with those that we mistrust, despise, judge (dare i say at times hate) But maybe harder still for many of us is unshield our hearts to ourselves- to truly turn unconditional love towards ourselves. This is where it all has to start- because even though it sounds so cliche- I have over and over again experienced that when I love myself it is really the only time i am actually able to love another. Because if i can love whatever it is that I am loathing in myself- then there is a pretty good chance that I will find a way to love it in another.
I love this statement from Ariel Spilsbury of the 13 Moon Mystery School:
“Unconditional love does NOT mean you need to DO anything. You can unconditionally love someone without ever seeing them again. Unconditional love just means choosing NOT to hold that person out of your heart and prayers. Not separating. It is not about what you do or don’t do to “prove” you love them. That is NOT the actual nature of unconditional love.”
So then what does Unconditional Love feel like to you?